


Seventh Wheel - Voltron: Legendary Defender

by whamelie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 11:15:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whamelie/pseuds/whamelie
Summary: Lance McClain has always hidden behind a confident mask, for as long as he can remember. But when the mask starts to crack when the Red Lion stops responding to him, and his title of 'Paladin' ceases to be... more and more of Lance's colder side starts to show...Warning! Story was written in 2017, writing may be slightly rusty!





	1. Insecurities

Lance dumped his helmet down on his bed next to him as he sunk into the fabric.

He was quite frankly, exhausted, and honestly wanted nothing more than to just strip off his paladin armour and sleep, but, what happened earlier that day... just wouldn't leave his mind.

No matter how much he tried to shove it aside or replace it with much more pleasurable thoughts, it just stayed there, fixed in place.

They had been fighting the Galra again, of course.

One of Zarkon's higher ups had made a last ditch attempt to recapture some alliance territory, and had sent a fleet to a planet inhabited by a generally pacifistic race, and set up a very quick and inefficient base.

Team Voltron was close, so decided to quickly swing by and free the planet once again from Galra control, but, it didn't go so well.

The first part was smooth, getting in there and 'kicking furry butt' as Lance put it.

That lead to a few comedic lines being thrown around the communications. Pidge pointing out that Lance technically just called Keith a furry, and Hunk adding "But Keith doesn't have fluff" and Shiro telling them to get on with the task at hand but secretly laughing in his lion. Allura was rolling her eyes the whole time.

But then, it all turned sour. The commander who lead the operation attempted escape in a small Galra shuttle, and Lance - as pilot of the red lion, the fastest lion - was sent after them, to catch them before they got away.

Just as the red lion's jaws were about to close on the shuttle, it barrel-rolled to the side and shot straight into the nearby asteroid field, too dangerous and tightly packed for the lions to follow.

He had let the commander get away, because he didn't anticipate an obvious move. He had let the team down.

None of them said anything nasty to him, Hunk even patted him on the back when they got back to the castle, mumbling:

"Nice try, Lance."

But even so, he could tell that he disappointed them. The way they looked at him when they thought he wasn't looking. The way they avoided eye contact.

Maybe he was just imagining it, but what if he wasn't?

He felt like crying, but instead he just put on a neutral facade and went back to his room, and that brought him back to the present.

Why on earth didn't he think about any attempts at evasion? Why didn't he chase the shuttle away from the asteroid field? Now that he was past that time, able to look back on it, he could think of so many things he should have done.

That he didn't.

Why the hell did Keith have to go and join the Blades? He should have been the one piloting the red lion. He was better at it.

Lance just... messed up. All the time.

The universe was on his shoulders. He had to pilot the red lion to form Voltron, but by doing that, he was putting the universe in jeopardy.

If only Keith would come back, pilot Red again... but then... where would he go?

Allura could pilot Blue better than he ever could. Neither Hunk or Pidge were going to give up their lions, and Shiro was back in his place as leader of Voltron in the Black Lion.

He'd just... be on the side. Useless.

Doing nothing at all. Stuck in the castle, alone. Of course, Coran would be around but...

Why would anyone keep up a friendship with him if he was no longer part of the team?

His use would be so limited, his uselessness almost infinite.

It hurt to think about it.

He just wanted to go home, but home was a long way away. He had nobody to talk to. He was too scared to question the rest of the team on their feelings about him.

He knew what they were anyway.

They found him obnoxious and annoying. Lance knew it, but he kept on being obnoxious and annoying because he was just... too scared.

Too scared to look weak.

Too scared to show his true emotions.

He was scared that they would cut him off, quicker than ever before.


	2. Tired

He hardly slept that night, even after taking his armour off and relaxing into the bathrobe he borrowed from Allura. Even his favourite music couldn't send him off.

The insecurities rooted in his heart were growing rapidly into thorny bushes with poisonous berries, choking up his system and dragging sleep further and further away from him.

The lights were off, he was comfortable, he had his favourite sleeping music playing through his headphones, what else could his body ask for?

He was exhausted, but he was wide awake.

Eventually, Lance gave up, accepting that he wasn't going to drift off.

"Jodido." He whispered, automatically speaking Spanish. He only ever did it when there was nobody else around, even though it wouldn't matter. The castle and the lions were equipped with automatic on-the-spot language translators. Everyone understood everyone else, as they only heard their first language being spoken.

Despite this, Lance heard everyone in regular old English, even though Spanish was his first language. 'Maybe it's a malfunction' he always thought. It was frustrating, because he still hadn't gotten a 100% hold of English grammar and sometimes had to ask people to repeat statements.

It would also be reassuring, to hear his first language coming out of somebody else's mouth.

He wandered around the silent castle for quite a while, aimlessly. He didn't know how to pass the time. There wasn't much opportunity to do so usually, so, the Paladins hadn't made much of an effort to create leisure activities.

He could go and play video games... He could visit Kalternecker... He could just keep wandering.

Nothing appealed to him. What was he going to do? Just sit there and do nothing? Apparently. 

His mind jumped to his family. They probably thought he was dead and that hurt. Was anyone looking for him? Was anyone looking for any of them?

The garrison claimed to have searched for Shiro, Matt and Matt's father when they all went missing, but didn't come back with anything.

What if he never saw anyone still on earth ever again? He didn't know if he could deal with that.

He was still exhausted, and he was still wide awake. He needed to get some sleep, in case they were thrown into the thick of it again tomorrow. 

Lance sighed and started making his way back to his room, blue lion slippers scuffing against the polished floor, when movement registered in the corner of his eye.

... an intruder? 

Coran always put the castle on some sort of chameleon mode before everyone went to sleep, so it made no sense that another person would be able to sneak on.

Lance cursed silently when he remembered that he left his bayard in his room. How would he protect himself? He couldn't punch all that hard. 

The movement started up again, and Lance braced himself to fight in vain but then...

The mice toddled out of the shadows.

Lance breathed a sigh of relief and crouched down, scratching one of them behind the ear.

"¿Entonces, ustedes tampoco pueden dormir?"

'So, you guys can't sleep either?'

They all started pressing at his hand, silently asking for ear scratches.

"¿Cómo puede Allura entenderte, pero no yo?"

'How can Allura understand you, but not me?'

They didn't reply.

'Because they're Altean mice, Lance, and the translators won't work for them. Probably' he thought.

Lance's slight smile dropped and he gave each mouse a quick ear massage, before standing up and walking away.

Even the bloody mice weren't interested in him.

If Zarkon himself had walked past, offering head rubs, they probably would have treated him just the same 

He made it back to his own room and he lay down, staring at the ceiling.

"Duerme," he whispered to himself, "Duerme duerme."

He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind.

Eventually, after a frustrating while, he fell asleep.


	3. Slow

Coran's voice screamed through the loudspeakers and everyone shot awake.

"GALRA SHIPS SPOTTED! THEY'RE IN ATTACK FORMATION! ONLY A DOBOSH AWAY!"

Lance stumbled around his room, clumsily pulling on his armour and running out the door, running back to grab his bayard then running again.

He was the last person into his lion. The other four were already ready to go.

"Hurry up Lance! We need your lion!" Allura yelled.

"I know, I know! Still waking up here!"

Red started moving straight away and the lions flew out to meet the fleet.

"How did they find us?! Wasn't the castle invisible?!" Hunk exclaimed, disheveled and hungry.

"I don't know, but now, we have to protect the castle!" Shiro lead, caving a path with Black.

Lance blinked his eyes. They were blurry and full of crusty sleep stuff. Not a good time to be attacked.

After a period of not much success, Shiro ordered them to draw back and form Voltron.

"Everyone, in formation, now!"

The five lions moved into a V, and the paladins waited for the transformation to start, but then Pidge noticed that Lance wasn't flying in line with her.

"Lance! You have to move faster! We aren't lined up!"

"I... I can't! Red isn't going any faster!"

"Your lion is the fastest one, Lance! Pull yourself together!" Shiro ordered.

Ouch. His tone hurt.

"I'm trying Shiro! I can't go any faster!"

"LANCE! YOU HAVE TO! WE NEED TO FORM VOLTRON!"

"I'M TRYING!"

Red was starting to seriously lag behind the others.

Shiro let out a very audible growl of frustration, before speaking.

"Break formation! Get back to the castle! We need to get out of here!"

The lions spread out, heading back to the castle, which had succumbed to heavy damage.

Lance stared down at his lion's controls.

"Come on Red! You're better than this!"

There was no response. If anything, they were traveling slower still.

"Coran! Prepare to wormhole!" Allura's voice rang out.

All the other lions had reached the castle, it was just Lance.

"Hello?! Red Lion! We need you back here!"

"Red isn't listening to me! He's moving slower!"

A shower of attacks sent Red flying in a direction contrary to the Castle.

Lance was terrified. He hadn't experienced a lion being stubborn like this before, and he was getting hurt, real bad.

"... Damn it! I'm going back out to help him!" Hunk yelled, ignoring Shiro's orders to not.

The Yellow lion quickly flew out to Lance, and wrapped its tail around the red lion, dragging it along behind him.

"Lance! Can you give me any cover?!"

"No! Red isn't responding at all!"

Lance was starting to panic, talking to his lion in increasingly panicked ways.

The Green Lion rushed past, giving Lance and Hunk the cover they needed to get back to the castle.

"Red please!"

The Lions re-entered the castle and Coran activated a wormhole, and they swiftly escaped.


	4. Disconnected

The rest of the paladins watched as Lance walked shakily out of his lion's open mouth. No smile adorned his face. No carefree look in his eyes made him seem ok.

He was scared. Very scared.

"... what the heck happened?" Hunk asked.

Lance shook his head, thinking of what words to say.

"... Red... he stopped doing as I said... nothing..."

He scanned his team's faces. He didn't see much concern in there at all. Anger from Shiro, disappointment from Allura and Pidge, and Hunk just stared at him blankly.

"... Well... It's probably just good old Red's time of the month, am I right?" He cheered, forcing a grin. A grin that soon faded into nothing as the disappointed and angry expressions enhanced.

"... this isn't funny, Lance. You need to reconnect with your Lion." Shiro spat, crossing his arms.

Coran flew into the room in a clear state of absolute chaos.

"THEY'RE BACK! THE GALRA FLEET! PALADINS!"

"Damn! How are they finding us?"

"Do you think Zarkon is connecting with the Black Lion like last time?" Pidge suggested. Shiro shook his head.

"No. I and the Black Lion have a much stronger bond now. It must be something else. Hunk, Pidge, Allura, get to your lions!"

He turned to Lance, an unpleasant expression on his face.

"Sort out your lion and help us out there."

He then turned quickly and sprinted to his own Lion, leaving a trembling Lance all alone in the bay.

He turned to look at Red, taking a deep breath, and venturing back inside him.

"Ok, Red, m'boy... We gotta go out and help the others... Please Red?" He cooed, grasping the controls tightly.

"C'mon, not now Red... don't do this now... Move..."

The lion was unresponsive. Silent, just like the Black Lion when Lance tried to bond with it.

The connection he used to feel had disappeared into thin air. 

Tears stung the corners of his eyes and he took more deep breaths, commanding himself to stay calm.

"Lance! We need you out here!"

"Why isn't your Lion responding?"

He tried to drown them out. He had to get Red to move.

'You chose me as your paladin... you thought I was worthy... what's changed?'

Silence.

'Red please, I can fix this. I can be whatever you need me to be.'

'... Por Favor... rojo león... por favor...'

"... Red please don't do this!"

"Lance!"

"Get out here!"

"I'm begging you... I have to help! I have to!"

The tears burst their banks and flooded down his cheeks.

"RED PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T CAST ME AWAY! I CAN DO IT! I CAN BE YOUR PALADIN! PLEASE!"

He could hardly hear Shiro's voice over the sound of his own screaming.

"NO NO NO! VIENE TU GATO STUPIDO!"

'Move you stupid cat!

Move you stupid cat!

MOVE YOU STUPID CAT!'

Red didn't understand. This was more than Voltron. More than having an adequate paladin. Lance needed to be part of Voltron... he needed it... And if he was taken away from team Voltron...

He really would be the Seventh Wheel after all.


	5. Tracked

Shiro called the other lions back and told Coran to wormhole again. Lance was still in Red's cockpit, tugging on the controls and sobbing uncontrollably. The others heard every word.

"... Lance. Come out."

"No! I've got this! Red's just having a bad day that's all!"

"That's an order."

Lance was quiet then, staring down at the places where holographic controls would appear. Instead there was just darkness. 

... Red... disconnected with him.

That meant, Red no longer thought he was right to pilot the red lion.

That meant... oh god... that meant...

He was no longer part of Voltron.

He stood up, waking out, slowly. He tried to dry his tears but the polymer armour wasn't waterproof at all.

"... I.... I'm sure he'll be fine tomorrow..." he whispered as he came into view of the others.

"Perhaps, but right now, we need to find out how we are being tracked." Shiro stated, "Pidge, any ideas?"

"Well, if a tracker was placed on any of our crafts, it would most likely be one of the lions. The castle hasn't been in close contact with anything recently."

"You heard her. Scan your lions."

The paladins took off in separate directions, scanning their crafts from top to bottom.

Lance, when searching Red's left flank, found a small, round, flashing object, clinging onto the metal with three claw-like prongs.

"... I-I found it. It was on R-Red." He announced, the echoing of the bay carrying his voice to everyone else.

Pidge ran forward and took a screwdriver to it, levering it off Red and smashing it against the floor. The flashing stopped in an instant.

Lance's mind was going haywire. Everything was going wrong.

Shiro ran over, staring at the broken tracker and then up at Lance, who sported the face of a child expecting a brutal telling-off.

"... S-Shiro, I-I-"

Shiro didn't even address Lance. He looked at the rest of the team, and spoke.

"... Someone set up a contact with Keith. We need him to pilot the red lion."

Lance's blood ran cold. Of course, it was what he expected, but... hearing it... made him want to curl up and die in a corner.

He couldn't think of a single thing to say. Nothing witty, nothing realistic. Nothing at all.

"... Shiro-"

"We need the lion operational. If it isn't connecting to you, we need a new pilot."

He was silent for a few seconds, before he was able to call his voice to just the occasional wobble.

"... P-Please... can I try, one more time?"

"... ok."

Turning from his team, for the third time that day, entered his Lion.

But, it might not be his for long.


	6. Failure

"... Red... please... I don't know what's changed... but I can still be your paladin..."

His hands clenched around the controls, trembling, begging the lion with everything he had to just work...

"... please."

He closed his eyes, fishing around for the connection they once shared but now... Now...

It seemed to have been severed.

"... Red... you don't understand... without you... I'm..."

Deep breaths... don't panic.

"I'm... useless..."

More deep breaths, hands tight but comfortable on the controls.

Clearing mind... thoughts only of Red... reconnecting... 

But it wasn't working.

Lance leant back, staring at the darkness all around him. 

At that moment... that very moment... he gave up. His conscious and subconscious decided that it was a fruitless waste of effort, and he had might as well get the depressive stage over and done with.

Although... it wouldn't be a stage. It would be until he found some way else to be a beneficial part of the rebellion.

And how would he do that? He wasn't good at anything else... but, thinking about it, could you even describe him as a good paladin?

He wasn't.

He had to accept that.

Keith was going to come back from the Blade to take Red back. When that happened, there's be no chance of getting back in.

Keith was ten times the pilot he was. 

God damnit... He had always viewed Keith as his rival. At the garrison, during battle... and now... as Red Paladin. 

He didn't want to leave Red's cockpit. If he did, he wouldn't ever come back in. Even if there was no Lion responding... it felt quite calm in there. 

Keith... rival. Funny. Was he a rival if he won all there was to rival? Was he a rival if he was already above Lance?

No. 

Not at all.

Red wasn't responding. The time to leave came close.

Lance fondly patted the controls, standing up and walking away, turning around and whispering a "please"... A last ditch attempt.

Unsurprisingly, there was no reaction.

Seventh Wheel. Seventh Wheel.

Six others, more important than him.

He left Red's mouth, walking slowly. Nobody had waited for him. Not a surprise. Today had been a disaster and it was all his fault.

Lance took the most indirect route to his room, but it made sure that he wouldn't run into anybody else, sparing himself the shame.

What a bloody failure. Seventh Wheel.

He locked the door. He threw his helmet to the side, and took off his paladin armour as fast as possible.

Useless. Useless.

He just, didn't understand.

What had changed? Red had always been quite loyal and well behaved. Why now? To smite him? A punishment?

Who knew. Not Lance.

He wished that someone would knock on his door and ask him how he was. He wished that somebody would care... give him support. He needed it. His friends, fellow humans in this war, Altean survivors...

But he had nobody now. It at least felt like it. 

What a day.

What a perfectly soul-crushing day.


	7. The Descent

Keith was on his way. After being told that Voltron needed him back, he said he'd be back at the castle in a couple of quintants.

Things weren't good in the castle. There was a constant tension in the air, Lance staying as solitary as possible, Pidge and Hunk keeping each other company while Shiro discussed various things with Allura and Coran in the main control room.

"Lance looked terribly upset." Allura sighed, "we should certainly see how he's doing at some point."

Shiro shrugged, showing distain.

"He'll be fine. After a few days, he'll be back to normal."

"Oh I don't know, Shiro. Lance doesn't strike me as that kind of person."

"You're talking about the guy who flirts with every girl he sees."

"His flirtatious tendencies don't stop him from feeling emotion. Trust me. I know what feeling useless is like."

Coran sat at the side, not knowing what to say or when to say it.

Lance was in his room, silent, cold. He wondered if the castle had central heating. He'd never felt cold in it before, but now, he was shivering.

His bayard sat alone in the corner, and it almost hurt to look at it.

He'd have to give it to Keith when he got back. He'd undoubtedly be able to link with the Red Lion. Once that happened, Lance would be kicked off team Voltron for good.

That was scary.

What was scarier, was that he didn't know what went wrong. He didn't know what had changed that would make the lion reject him so suddenly.

He hadn't changed... had he?

The Lion was a piece of machinery. It could have malfunctions... right? Lance hoped so. He knew it was wrong, but he hoped that it was the lion's fault, and not his own.

Time passed so slowly. Almost as if the universe was slowing down, gradually decreasing until it stopped.

Lance didn't like it. He didn't like any of it.

His clothes felt heavy against his skin. He felt pressed down by them, even though he knew that the reason for his inability to get up, lay inside his growing anxiety, and the weight of uselessness that crept slowly closer.

The Descent into Depression had started, and he was far to deep to climb back out...


	8. Replaced

Keith's ship landed in the bay and he hopped out quickly, scanning his friends for anything peculiar or out of place. There was nothing out of the ordinary, except for the tenseness in the atmosphere and the lack of happiness in everyone's expressions, Lance's especially.

He knew that the Red lion had stopped working for Lance, and he knew that the team needed him to take back his place as red paladin as soon as possible.

The Voltron Coalition was cracking in places. The cracks needed to be filled, and that couldn't happen without Voltron's right arm.

It was awkward. Nobody knew what to say. Lance was the one who always broke tension with puns or really bad flirting, but now, he was silent. Refusing to meet Keith's eyes.

"... Uh... How was your journey?" Allura asked politely, forcing a smile.

"It was fine, but... what happened with the Red Lion?"

It was a silly question. He had already been told. He was just fillings the silence.

Lance repositioned his shoulders in a more slouched fashion and tried not to look too hurt.

"It stopped responding to Lance. At this point in time, it is vital to be able to form Voltron, so, we called for you immediately." Shiro explained.

Keith sighed, and nodded.

"It would be best if we did this quickly. If Red decides to ignore you too, then, it would be better to know sooner."

He nodded again, marching off to find his paladin armour. Something he hadn't worn for quite a while now.

When he returned, ready to enter the lion, Lance was feeling very conflicted. Of course, he had the team's best interests at heart, and wanted the lion to work for Keith, but another, darker, side of him, wanted it to reject Keith as well. At least, then, he wouldn't be alone. He wouldn't feel so outcast and solitary, and even better, the Lion could be to blame after all, not him.

It was selfish and stupid, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He hated this.

Keith walked steadily up the ramp and into the control centre, taking a deep breath.

The team, stood outside, did the same.

'Don't work...' Lance thought 'Please don't work...'

'Please work...' Keith thought 'Please can you work...' 

He reached for the controls, calm and composed, slightly worried, but hopeful.

Voltron had to be functional. To be back on the team again would be great.

Lance closed his eyes and tried to reach out to the lion. Even though he wasn't in it, he thought that he might have a tiny chance to stop Keith from grabbing its allegiance.

'I can pilot you just as well as Keith can... I promise I can... please believe me...'

'I piloted you before... will you let me pilot you again?'

'What changed? Nothing... please... consider me. I can do it. You've seen... I can fly you well... right, Red?'

The rivalry was back, two sides playing tug of war and not even knowing it.

'C'mon Red... don't work for Keith... he can go back to the blade... I can't... I need you...'

'Voltron needs me. The blade is important, but not as much as this team. You have to work for me.'

He reached down and ... to Lance's extreme disappointment and devastation, the moment that Keith's fingers brushed the controls, they reacted. Lighting up, whirring into action, running as smoothly as ever. 

The other team members were happy. Thank god, Voltron would be able to work. Thank god, they could still fight back against the Galra Empire.

To Lance, it was like a bullet to the head. Everything stopped working for a little while, trying to work around what had happened.

It had worked for Keith... so... there wasn't anything wrong with the Lion. There was something wrong with him.

Seventh Wheel. Seventh Wheel.

Lance just stared as the lion sat up, letting out a roar, and he felt like it was teasing him.

'You aren't as good as Keith. You will never be as good as Keith.'

Seventh Wheel. Maybe it wasn't true when it first occurred to him, but now it was. Oh, now it definitely was.

Not first. Not second. Not third, fourth, fifth, nor sixth. Seventh. In a 100 person race, that ranking wouldn't be bad....

Though...

This was a seven person race. Worse, it wasn't even a race. Lance was thrown out of the competition before he could even compete. 

He'd been replaced by someone he once called rival.

Great. He was finally coming to terms with Keith and accepting that they didn't have to fight all the time... and then this happened.

He knew it wasn't his fault, but how could he ever forgive him for this?

Keith had gone and taken the one thing that validated him in this life. This scary, hidden life in space... 

What was he to do now?

Keith walked out of the Lion and was met with smiles and congratulations, and nobody noticed Lance walking away.

Nobody but Keith.

He turned to Lance and found him nowhere, looking to the distance and watching his depressed, slumped figure pass through a doorway and disappear.

"This is great! We can finally make our plans to fix the coalition! Everyone, this way. We need to talk." Shiro proposed happily, oblivious to Lance's absence.

Keith almost said something, but brushed it away.

Lance would probably be fine.

Probably.

Later on, Keith went around to Lance's room to get his Bayard, cautiously knocking on the door and hearing frantic shuffling from inside.

Eventually, the door opened, revealing a rather disheveled Lance, with red eyes and messy hair. It looked like he had been crying.

"What do you want."

His voice was so hurt and blank that Keith felt a strong urge to just hug him and comfort him, but, they weren't even friends, really. It would be weird.

"... My Bayard... I need it."

"Oh..."

It seemed like Lance had expected something else, but none the less turned around and fetched it for him, handing it over slightly hesitantly.

"There. You can go now."

He went back into the room and the door closed, leaving Keith alone in the corridor. 

Yeah, he had been crying. Keith didn't know what to do. He had never been great with people, upset people especially.

So, he just walked away.

He had hoped that his first interaction with Lance after he return would be.... more happy? More... heartfelt? Was that the right word? Keith didn't know.

Lance would be fine. He just had to do was come to terms with what happened and accept it... but Keith had a bad feeling that Lance wouldn't bounce back so easily this time.

A bad feeling, that Lance wasn't going to be ok, at all.


	9. Cracks

Quintants had passed, and Lance finally urged himself to leave the emptiness of his room and find something to do.

If he was going to be off team Voltron, he could at least help around the castle.

Coran was making a routine check of the castle's teludav, making sure that none of the lenses were cracked or dimmed.

"Heeey, Coran." Lance spoke, forcing a smile and nearly giving the old Altean a heart attack.

"Quiznak! Lance! You scared me!"

"Sorry... uh... what are you doing?"

"Well, I'm checking for cracks in the teludav lenses, shining them too. We need them at optimum working order, especially with the risk of Galra attack, you know."

Lance nodded, working very hard to keep the smile on his face.

"... could I help?"

"... Well, yes... just... come inside, and be careful with the lenses!"

Coran gave him instructions to check for cracks and to spread a small amount of a shiny substance on each lens, and not too much, or it wouldn't work.

"There's the bucket of it, over there. Just smear a bit with your fingers, that'll do the trick."

He went over to pick up the bucket... but there was two. Two of them. He looked at Coran's bucket, and back at the two in front of him, picking up the one that looked most similar and smearing a bit on one of the lenses. It smelled disgusting and didn't look like it would make anything shine.

Coral turned to see if he had started well and was shocked to see Lance spreading grease from the kitchen equipment on the lenses.

"Lance what are you doing?!"

"... what you told me to?"

"Goodness me..."

Coran took the bucket out of his hands and wiped the grease off with a cloth.

"Why would you pick up the bucket of grease? Isn't it obvious?"

"No, Coran, you didn't tell me which bucket to use!"

Lance picket up the other bucket and looked in it. The gel was clear and much more pleasant smelling, and he did feel a little bit stupid for not considering the contents before applying it.

Lance got to work, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, to make up for the initial mistake.

"... Sorry, Coran."

"It's ok, it's ok... rookie's mistake."

The silence and occasional squeak of skin on lens was awkward. Lance's smile was gone, anyway.

"Sooo... how often does this need to be done?"

"Once every few decafebes, but because of our rather common use of the teludav, much more often."

"... what happens if I find a crack?"

"Then we're... in quite a lot of trouble. Remember last time?"

Lance nodded grimly, remembering the experience.

"I remember."

Coran turned around again to see if Lance was doing it properly and sighed at what he saw.

"You're putting far too much on each lens, Lance. Too much gel will make the light reflect badly, it wont work!"

"How much an I supposed to use then?"

"A small amount. Only enough to cover your fingertips."

Lance breathed out, biting his lip to stop himself losing his cool.

"... do I have to do them all again?"

"... yes... just wipe them off and restart."

Lance picked up the cloth and started to remove the gel but Coran stopped him again.

"Gentle! These lenses are fragile!"

Lance stopped and stared at the cloth. He was being gentle... he didn't understand.

Coran sighed deeply, massaging his temples.

"Look, Thankyou for trying but, maybe you should go and do something else, like... check on Kalternecker."

Lance took another deep breath, staying calm.

He placed the bucket on the floor and walked away, hands in fists, trembling.

He wanted to be useful... he wanted to help... but he just couldn't seem to do anything right.

Coran obviously thought so.

The Red Lion thought so.

Lance was staring to strongly believe that it was the case.

He didn't do as Coran suggested. He just went straight back to his room, closing the door, collapsing onto the bed, and bursting into tears.


	10. Thoughts

Lance spied Shiro speed walking down the corridor and stepped out, grabbing his attention.

"Uh, Shiro? I was wondering if-"

"Not now Lance."

"But-"

"Not now!"

Shiro must have seen the hurt look on the former Red Paladin, because he took a second to calm down and explain.

"Look, a planet just sent a distress signal. Galra forces are trying to recapture it, and they need our help. I'll talk to you later."

He started walking again, more purposeful.

"But Shiro-"

"Later!"

Lance watched him get further away, and eventually, out of sight.

He was going to ask what he could do to help, but, it seems that he wasn't needed.

If the team needed help, surely they would have asked for it. Yeah? Yeah. They would have.

He wasn't needed. He needed to stop thinking that he was. Now that he was no longer a Paladin, he was no longer of any use to anyone.

It would be better if he just stayed in his room and didn't come out. All that anyone seemed to have for him was impatience.

He wandered back to his room and curled up on the bed, sitting in the fetal position with his head hidden.

The Castle alarms went off, but he didn't react. The occasional shudder of the structure indicated attacks, and quite violent ones too, but Lance didn't move.

He was scared. He was upset.

He wondered if Shiro would come and see him like he said.

He wondered if they were realising what a terrible paladin he was, now that Keith was back.

Tears started falling faster than he could dry them and he smothered his face in the blanket, hating the sobbing that was starting to escape his mouth and hating the shaking that took over his body.

After almost an hour of constant alarms and shaking and constant, unending fear... the battle ended, and the castle was peaceful once again.

He waited for Shiro, but he never came. 

Of course he didn't. Why would he care?

Lance didn't know if even he cared anymore.


	11. Rejection

Lance stirred from his uncomfortable sitting position on the bed at Coran's voice booming through the loudspeakers, demanding that all of the castle's inhabitants come directly to the bridge.

He groaned, face-planting into the pillow.

Coran probably just meant the paladins. He'd just stay in bed. The last thing he wanted was to have to socialise.

\---

All the others had arrived at the bridge, and Coran quickly scanned the group, becoming slightly worried when Lance was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Lance?"

"... not here." Pidge added unhelpfully.

"Yes, thank you Pidge. Clearly none of us could work that out for ourselves." Keith snapped sarcastically. He had been rather irritable even since his return to the castle.

"Why isn't he here? I told everyone to co-"

"Coran, just tell us what this is about." Shiro interrupted.

"The mice have come down with something. We need to go to the space mall and collect some medication."

Everyone exchanged a glance.

"... seriously? You needed everyone?"

"Well, I thought that it would be a nice change. The team has been working hard lately, and a trip to the mall might be just what we need."

"Lance especially." Allura added.

"Yes, but, Lance isn't here."

"So what? If he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't have to."

Before anyone could tell him otherwise, Coran was speaking into the loudspeakers, telling Lance to get to the bridge straight away.

"... doesn't the mall guard guy hate us?" Hunk asked.

"I think he's been replaced now."

After about five minutes, Lance moodily trudged into the room, hood pulled up over his head and setting a shadow over his eyes.

"So, Lance, how'd you fancy a trip to the space mall?" Coran beamed, over dramatically.

Lance shrugged, not saying anything. What he had been contemplating for the last hour had left him rather shaky and quiet.

The silence was awkward, so Allura quickly filled it with forced positivity and encouragement to get going. Lance stayed at the back of the pack, avoiding eye contact, avoiding anything that could prompt anyone to talk to him.

\---

Coran and Allura sped off to the intergalactic pet shop, leaving the rest of the group to find some means of entertainment.

Hunk sped off to the nearest café while Pidge went straight to the nearest electronics shop, leaving Keith and Lance standing in the middle of the plaza, uncomfortable and silent. They made awkward eye contact and then walked quickly away in opposite directions. 

Lance wandered around for quite a while, scanning over shops and cafés, getting nowhere, but he didn't have anywhere that he had intended to get to.

Eventually, the casual mall music eased him into a false sense of security, and his depressive state started to lift.

A cute group of alien girls entered his field of vision, and a little smile appeared on his lips.

Making his way over, he decided on the pickup line he would use first of all. Play it goofy, cute, and polite. Girls loved that.

Getting closer, he realised how much cuter they were than he previously thought. Oh... lucky days.

Eventually, they noticed him coming, and he put a lovable smirk on his face as he addressed them.

"Hello! Ladies... I have to say, you must be from outer space, because damn! You're out of this world!"

Lance expected them to giggle and blush like they usually did. Like all girls usually did - with the rare exception of Allura - but they didn't. They just grimaced, turning their noses up at him.

"Ugh. Lame."

They walked off, not looking back. 

Lance stared after them. He didn't get it... that line usually worked... 

He wasn't used to rejection. At least, not in space.

What had changed? What had...

Oh.

He wasn't wearing his paladin armour. He had no sign of being a famous paladin of Voltron. 

The girls had only ever reacted well to his flirting because he was a paladin. That was he only reason. 

He didn't know why he hadn't realised this sooner. What other reason would they have? He wasn't all that great in the looks department, he didn't have any redeeming qualities and his methods were, quite frankly, stupid and childish. 

Lance went straight to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall, staying there in silence until there was a buzzing in his pocket. Someone messaged him, telling him to meet the rest at the fountain to get back to the castle.

With a loud sigh, he exited the cubicle, quickly splashing his face and leaving the bathroom, pulling up his hood and feeling the depression sink back down onto him, much heavier than before. 

Nobody talked to him. He was glad of that.

Nobody argued when he went straight back to his room. 

Nobody did anything when he didn't turn up to the evening meal. He hadn't turned up for the last few quintants.

They saw no point in trying to make him turn up today.


	12. Harm

"Has anyone seen Lance?" Keith asked, slumped against the wall of the kitchen.

Hunk shrugged, packing his freshest batch of cookies into a box, and Pidge didn't even react.

"... I haven't seen him for a few days now."

Hunk shrugged again, Pidge rolled her eyes.

"... these aren't rhetorical, you know."

The green paladin put down what she was tinkering with and fixed Keith with a look.

"Since when did you care so much about Lance?"

"What? And you don't?"

"I went into his room yesterday and he told me to fuck off. Now he's put a sign on his door saying 'knock first'. He clearly doesn't want any attention so I won't give it to him."

"He hasn't eaten anything in days, to be fair. I think we should probably-" Hunk started, but was rudely interrupted.

"He'll get hungry eventually. Just leave him alone. That asshole will come around."

Keith felt an angry throbbing in his forehead.

"That's a bit strong, don't you think? He's been kicked off the team. He didn't want to be but he was. How would you feel?"

"I'd accept it and I wouldn't spend my time sulking like a child, instead, finding a way to make myself useful!"

"Guys!" Hunk whispered. They both followed his eyes to the doorway, from where Lance looked upon the scene.

Pidge's face contorted with guilt, as the new arrival's expression turned into something deeply hurt, and he quickly walked away.

Keith glared daggers at everybody and followed him.

"Lance! Hey! Slow down!"

He didn't. If anything he sped up.

He wasn't going to chase him around the castle, so he just stopped.

And he watched him disappear from sight, full of anger at Pidge and frustration at Hunk and worry for Lance. 

The team was falling apart. Nobody was getting on anymore. The tenseness of maintaining the coalition and Shiro's new, more serious and joyless persona, did nothing but add to the solemn atmosphere.

It hurt. Voltron was breaking.

\---

Lance stormed away from Keith, considering breaking into a run but staying as calm as possible.

The tears were streaming down his cheeks and he couldn't bear to face anyone.

Pidge's words rang in his ears.

'That asshole'

'Sulking like a child'

'Make myself useful'

He only... he only wanted a....

... A knife.

How would he get one now, with them in the kitchen?

He'd have to wait. 

Lance made his way around, back to the kitchen, and sneaked a peek inside. Unfortunately, Hunk and Pidge were still in there, and they showed no sign of leaving.

... later.

Pidge really didn't like him anymore, did she? Not that she liked him in the first place. Why would she?

She was clever while he was an idiot. 

He shouldn't have told her to fuck off. He was just... at that point, upset, and embarrassed, and not in desire of interaction at all.

She was just showing concern, and he shoved it back in her face. What an idiot. 

The walk back to his room was boring and seemed to take forever. He thought he saw Keith a few times, but it just turned out to be his imagination.

Why did Keith run after him, anyway? He'd never shown any distinct care for him before now. 

He still felt quite sour about the whole Red Lion ordeal.

Sour being a massive understatement.

\---

Lance had to pass time. He wasn't going to venture into the kitchen till everyone had left, and knowing Hunk, as long as there wasn't a need for the yellow lion, he'd stay in there till he went to sleep.

So, he decided to go and see Allura, to try and get some answers.

Knocking on her chamber door, waiting nervously for the shuffling inside to come to the door.

Whoosh. It opened. The Princess was momentarily surprised to see him but sank back into her usual homely smile.

"... Lance? It's nice to see your face again."

He nodded nervously, wondering why his usual attraction to her wasn't... as strong. Was it even there? Yes... just... much less so. That was odd. He wondered why...

But quickly moved his mind back to more pressing matters.

"Princess, I was just wondering... I'd like to know what traits the Red Lion looks for in its paladins. You know... just to see... where I went wrong."

Her face filled with sympathy.

"You didn't go wrong, Lance. Things happen that we have no control over. I hope you don't blame yourself..."

He couldn't say truthfully that he didn't.

"... come inside."

He hadn't ever been in Allura's room before. It looked cosy, colourful banners draped everywhere and a little house for the mice standing in one corner.

She gestured for him to sit on one of the poofy chairs set out, and he did as told.

"The Red Lion is, as you know, the most quick and volatile of the lions, and therefore looks for clear instinct in its Paladins. Somebody who relies more on their instincts than their skill. Somebody who trusts them self."

Lance stared at her, expecting more, but all she followed up with was a tilted head and a confused expression.

"... And?"

"That's it."

"... Really?"

Lance blinked rapidly and stared at the floor.

"... But... I do... trust myself..."

One of the mice clambered onto Lance's lap, and he begrudgingly gave it a scratch behind the ear.

"Maybe it's something else... Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. The lions are of superior intelligence... it's entirely possible that they have a much better grasp on the grand scheme of things."

Lance shrugged, already theorising on his previous statement.

"Sorry... didn't help much, did I?"

"No, you helped. Thanks, princess."

He got up to leave but was pulled back by a soft touch.

"You really should eat something."

He nodded, then drew away.

The door slid shut. 

It made sense. Finally.

He had stopped acting on impulse. He had started thinking through every action before performing it.

If only he had thought to trust himself sooner. Even if he learned to again, now, they wouldn't swap Keith out for him. 

The intervention with Allura hadn't lasted as long as he hoped, so he just wandered around for god knows how long, finally passing Hunk in a corridor on the way to bed. 

He sneaked back to the kitchen, looking inside to see if it was empty, then venturing inside.

Hunk seemed to have an obsession with cutlery. He had purchased so many different culinary blades on trips to shops that he wouldn't notice if one went missing.

Lance selected a relatively normal looking one. Something you would find in any Earth supermarket.

Shoving it up his sleeve, he looked around again, paranoid to any witnesses, and made his quick way out.

Back to his room, sitting on his bed, and slowly pulling up his sleeve again, taking the knife out but, not rolling it back down again.

He stared at the smooth skin of his forearm, wondering how badly he'd scar if he went through with this idea.

Self Harm.

His older sister used to do it. He remembered the pang of pain he felt when he first saw the scars. All over her arms, her legs. It was awful... he didn't know why anybody would do that to themselves... until now.

The dim light reflected off the blade, glinting cruelly. 

Thinking of family brought a new pang of pain. He missed them so much. Being at the Garrison without them was hard enough, but now, millions, maybe billions of miles away, not knowing if they were ok, or if they knew he was alive, it was even harder. Would they be disappointed in him? 

'¿Para qué?' a little voice in his head asked.

What for? For being kicked out of the Red Lion. For becoming such a waste of space because of it. For succumbing to this self injury that haunted the family when it made home in his sister?

Oh well. He might never see them again. This wouldn't hurt them.

But it would hurt him.

The single slither of red stung like an insect bite, little beads of blood rising to the surface, gory bubbles that didn't pop, just smeared.

He thought that he'd be crying at this sight, but he wasn't. His eyes were dry. It was... odd.

He positioned the knife to cut again, pressing the point to his skin and dragging down.

A slither of liquid fell down his cheek.

Ah. There were the tears.

He knew they'd come eventually.

But he didn't know when they'd stop.


	13. Argument

Nearly a phoeb after Lance had first used a blade on himself, he could no longer venture outside his room showing his forearms. What he'd been up to would be out in the open straight away, and he didn't want a single other soul to know.

He was embarrassed and ashamed.

The Galra had been attempting to reclaim more and more coalition bases. Voltron was needed all over the rebellion's territory. It seemed like the barrage would never end, as neither side managed to capture any more territory that what they had. It was just a vicious circle.

Everyone on the team was getting tired.

Especially Keith, who was tired not only because of the Galra, but also because of the team's blatant disregard for Lance. None of them had mentioned him. Whenever he did, they shrugged it off as quickly as possible.

It was angering. Keith had never been good at holding in his anger.

He would never hurt Shiro. He was like a brother to him and he loved him as one, but wow, when Keith brought up Lance around him, and he just said that Lance would probably be fine if they left him alone, a good slap around the head would have done a lot of good for Keith's temper.

Well. Since nobody else was doing anything, he took it into his own hands to knock on Lance's door and check up on him.

But, once he was actually standing outside, staring deep into the lazy 'knock first' scrawled on a crumpled sheet of paper and stuck to the door with a couple of Hunk's failed 'meatballs' (which were pretty much lumps of glue after the oven was through with them), he was filled with an unexplained nervousness.

It was just a few words. 'Are you ok?' 'Do you need anything?' 'Want to talk?'

He didn't understand.

He just had to raise his hand up and, knock.

Realising that he only knocked once, he quickly knocked again twice.

There was a shuffling inside, and the shuffling lasted so long that he wanted to knock again.

Eventually, Lance opened the door, and was surprised to see anyone, let alone Keith.

The silence that followed was awkward and increasingly weird, so Keith quickly ended it with "... Uh... how are you?"

Lance raised an eyebrow.

"Fine."

"... oh... ok..."

They were threatened with the return of the silence to Keith brought back conversation.

"Look... you haven't been out of your room much. You haven't been doing much of anything. I wanted to ask if everything is ok."

He knew the angry feeling that emitted from Lance far too well.

"No, everything is not ok, because somebody replaced me as the Red Paladin, so I no longer have anything to do."

"... I didn't chose for that to happen. Voltron needed a Paladin so I-"

"So you danced in and beat me again. That's all you do. Every time I think I'm good at something you come along and prove you as better at it."

Keith knew better than to correct his grammatical errors.

His voice was wobbling. Tears were on the horizon.

"Since when did you start caring? You've never given a damn about me before."

It took a lot of willpower to not break and start snapping back.

"I have cared! You're part of Voltron, of course I do."

Lance shook his head.

"I'm not part of it anymore. So you have no reason to care, so why are you here?"

"To see if you're ok!"

"Ok then, well, I'm not ok! Happy now?"

Keith was about to retaliate with an angrier remark, but the words were stopped in his trough when he saw something that Lance had obviously tried to hide with his jacket.

Bloodstained bandages... Allura had said that someone had nicked something from the castle's medical supply. But... bloody? Why were they bloody? Lance hadn't been injured recently? Had he?

Lance noticed him looking and then blocked the sight with his body.

"... Lance... do you want to talk about anything?"

He looked surprised. Almost as if he was considering it, before reverting back to a scowl and breaking eye contact.

"No. Please go away now."

"... ok."

Keith walked away, swearing that he heard a sob before the door slid shut.

That hardly went as planned.

But the bandages... what was with that? It gave him a bad feeling.

\---

Lance slid down the closed door, trying to shove the sobs back down his oesophagus.

He saw the bandages... didn't he? Keith saw the bandages.

He should have checked that they were hidden properly before opening the door. 

But... why? Why would he care enough to check on him?

It didn't matter. Lance moved his jacket and picked up the knife, which he had luckily been able to hide properly. Keith's visit had only reminded him of things he had wished to forget.


	14. Barrage

Hunk collapsed into a seat after the second Galra attack that day.

"They have to be tracking us..." he groaned, taking off his helmet and breathing a sigh of relief.

"No, there's nothing on that castle that they could be using to track us." Shiro answered.

"Correct, none of them got close enough to place anything." Allura added.

"Then how are they finding us?"

"Pure luck I suppose."

Keith was siding with Hunk at heart, but couldn't dismiss Allura's point. Pidge didn't know what to think.

"... has anyone seen Lance?" Keith asked out of nowhere.

Pidge let out an exaggerated sigh.

"For gods sake, will you stop going on about Lance?! He was in the kitchen yesterday stuffing himself, he's fine."

Keith bit his lip to stop himself sending back a snide comment about her attitude.

What he had seen in Lance's room a few days ago was still stuck in his head, and he wanted to ask him about it, but he imagined that Lance would be less than pleased to see him at his door again.

Nobody knew what to talk about. They just sat, staring at the floor or the ceiling, staring out into the never-ending blackness of space.

\---

Lance stared at his wall, pondering.

Hunk had been kind enough to pop into his room and explain what had happened after the second attack. He knew about the situation.

And he was as baffled as everyone e else. Two times, in one day... it just didn't happen. The galaxy was massive. There was no way that the Galra just found them by accident both times.

But the facts still stood that there was no way they were being tracked. 

He thought about it because he didn't have anything else to think about.

If he could somehow figure out what the problem was... he could prove himself some with to the team... but then again, it could just be a coincidence.

Lance was about to give up, when the alarms all went off again, signaling the third Galra attack.

Third! This was getting ridiculous! 

No way. No way in hell could they do that without some sort of tracking device. The previous encounter was only half an hour ago!

The Lions would be going out to fight now. Taking down a few ships before getting back to the castle and wormholeing away.

They had to be tracking them. Perhaps Emperor Zarkon had regained a connection with the Black lion, but according to their sources, Zarkon was in a coma-like state.

There was nothing else on the ship! Nothing! 

Then... it hit him.

There was a piece of Galra tech in the Castle.

Shiro's arm.

Shiro's bionic arm.

He ran it through his head. Yeah! That could be it!

He had to tell them as quickly as possible.

But the castle had entered defence mode. It was something new that Pidge implemented to give the castle more stability. All the doors sealed shut during and just after an attack.

Once his door unlocked, he'd go and find the paladins and propose his idea.

He just hoped that they'd listen...

\---

On the Galra's largest ship, the Central Command System, the leader of Operation Kuron ventured into Haggar's quarters.

"... The project is ready, my lady."

She didn't turn around, staring down on her druid's work to reanimate Emperor Zarkon.

"... may I ask why you haven't ordered for it's start?"

"I will tell you to start it once I think it is time to."

They bowed respectfully and said no words after that, leaving the chamber and the witch in silence.

Almost. They just had to damage their castle's particle barrier enough to let the signal through. 

Operation Kuron would see the start of Voltron's downfall, and the delicious success of the Galra Empire.


	15. Hurt

"PIDGE, COVER ME!" Keith yelled, sending Red rocketing towards the largest ship in the attacking fleet.

"On it!"

She flew in as well, taking down three fighters that were on Keith's tail and making sure that no others managed to.

He shoved his bayard into it's slot and yanked it around, summoning the sword in the lion's mouth and shredding auto-canons with it as he whizzed past them.

Leaving the BoM was hard, and hurting Lance so much was hard, but it really was nice to be back in a lion. Especially Red, with his high speed and agility.

"Nice work Keith!" Allura congratulated, sending fighters scattering with Blue's ice beam.

"That's enough, everyone! Get back to the castle!" Shiro ordered, and all the lions obliged, circling around and heading back.

The lions entered their chambers and the Paladins ran to the bridge as Coran set the castle to wormhole.

"Let's hope they can't find us again." Pidge almost joked. They were all even more exhausted. Another attack would probably cripple their stamina for quite a while.

"What on earth is happening?" Allura questioned. "This situation is ridiculous. They keep finding us, somehow, with a tracking mechanism if some sort. They have to be."

The rest of the team nodded in agreement, but Shiro did the opposite.

"There is no way that they could be tracking us."

"So, what? The same fleet finds us three times, by accident?"

He didn't know how to respond to that.

"Yeah, Shiro. The galaxy is massive. You can't physically look for people, it would take forever."

They were backing him into a corner, and was relieved when Coran changed the subject.

"The particle barrier is damaged. It's going to need some intense repairs."

"How bad is it?"

"Another attack, and we're toast."

"Then we need to make sure that the Galra can't track us anymore, however they're doing it." Pidge stated.

"For the last time, they can't be tracking us!"

A small argument pent up between Paladins, and as it cooled down, Hunk sighed and let out a small 'I wish Lance was here'.

"... Is this really the time, Hunk?" Shiro asked, clearly irritated.

"Yes, actually. It's been the time for a while." Keith interrupted, crossing his arms and glaring, "Every time I've asked you what we should do about Lance, you've dodged the question."

"Yes, Shiro. Lance has been acting strange recently. We should make sure that he's ok."

He looked away.

"I'm not going to do anything about him, because he doesn't need anything done."

Keith felt a vein pop in his forehead.

"He's hardly been eating, he's lost his usual talkativeness and he had bloody bandages on his floor when I went to see him a few days ago. He needs something done because he isn't ok. If you can't see that then you're going blind."

\---

Lance waited for the door to his room to open, and smiled at the sound. It should have opened straight away, but, it jammed.

He scowled at the metal, kicking it to see if that would dislodge it, but it did nothing.

A door jam, at this moment in time? Karma wasn't being fair today.

He dug his fingers into the tiny gap between wall and door and pulled, managing to make it screech open, metal grinding on metal creating an awful shrieking sound.

But he was free, and he hurried towards the bridge.

\---

Shiro took in a deep breath and let it out, calming down.

"Look, Keith. Lance hardly matters at this moment. What matters is-"

"Yes he does! He's part of our team! He will always matter!"

"... Keith, I'm warning you."

"Screw the Galra. I'm worried about Lance! And so are Hunk and Allura!"

Hunk's face clearly said 'don't bring me into this'.

"This is not the time!"

"Yes it is!"

"Haven't you noticed that it's been pretty chilled around here since he left?"

Keith was speechless for a second. He never imagined that he'd be arguing with Shiro like this.

"No, it hasn't been. It's been tense, and awkward, and way too quiet. And what do you mean 'left'? He's still part of the team!"

"... Since he stopped being a Paladin, he stopped being part of the team."

"So I guess Coran isn't part of the team either!"

"Coran flies the castle. Lance just sits in his room all day every day doing nothing. He's little more than a passenger!"

Allura stepped in.

"Don't you think that's a bit too far? Lance is still our friend."

"Hardly. He doesn't bother to talk to us anymore." Pidge joined in.

"Thankyou Pidge." Shiro gestured, massaging his temples. "Listen, Keith. The long and short of it is that Lance doesn't matter anymore. Voltron and the Coalition are what matters. The current situation is what matters."

Keith looked down and bit the inside of his cheek, almost drawing blood.

\---

As Lance approached the bridge, he heard loud, heated voices coming from it.

"Look, Keith. Lance hardly matters at this moment. What matters is-"

"Yes he does! He's part of our team! He will always matter!"

He stopped still, not knowing what to think.

"... Keith, I'm warning you."

"Screw the Galra. I'm worried about Lance! And so are Hunk and Allura!"

He crept closer, till he was stood at the edge of the doorway, peeking in, but nobody could see him.

"This is not the time!"

"Yes it is!"

"Haven't you noticed that it's been pretty chilled around here since he left?"

... Ouch. That hurt. That really hurt. Lance felt each breath get harder and harder to take.

"No, it hasn't been. It's been tense, and awkward, and way too quiet. And what do you mean 'left'? He's still part of the team!"

"... Since he stopped being a Paladin, he stopped being part of the team."

It got worse. He had always looked up to Shiro, and now... Shiro was looking down on him. Not part of the team anymore... it hurt so much.

"So I guess Coran isn't part of the team either!"

"Coran flies the castle. Lance just sits in his room all day every day doing nothing. He's little more than a passenger!"

Tears threatened to stream out the ducts but Lance tried to deny them, trying to focus on how Keith was standing up for him.

"Don't you think that's a bit too far? Lance is still our friend."

"Hardly. He doesn't bother to talk to us anymore."

There were Allura and Pidge. One on his side and one not. His mind was screaming for a blade.

"Thankyou Pidge. Listen, Keith. The long and short of it is that Lance doesn't matter anymore. Voltron and the Coalition are what matters. The current situation is what matters."

'Lance doesn't matter anymore.'

It was like a bullet through the heart. The tears fell.

What was worse, was that nobody defended him this time. They just accepted it.

Oh god... they were all adopting Shiro's views, weren't they.

His mind was taking things and distorting them out of proportion. They weren't all accepting Shiro's views but he had convinced himself that they were.

Oh no...

His train of thought had been completely lost and he no longer cared about what he originally came to the bridge for.

He only cared about going back to his room and retrieving his knife.

So he did, turning around and walking - defeated - to his starting point.

The tears formed two wet patches on his t-shirt, still coming strong.

Getting back to his room, he hardly noticed that the door had managed to unjam itself and was now operating normally. He hardly cared about anyone bursting into his room and seeing, as he took the knife and pressed down hard. Harder than ever. Vertical? Horizontal? It didn't matter to him.

Blood flowed freely.

He was a failure. He messed up all his chances, Shiro said he didn't matter. Shiro said he was annoying and loud. Pidge agreed.

Lance agreed.

And he pressed down again.

It hurt, it stung like a million insect stings but it didn't come close to the damage wreaked by Shiro's words.

Those had carved a wound so deep, that the scar would last forever.


	16. Orders

Lance stumbled out of his room, shaking with sobs and staring down at his arms. He cut too much. He cut too deep.

He made a mistake. He was losing too much blood.

It was streaming out of the injuries, dropping all over him, all over the floor as he walked. He was scared. He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die.

Death made him so scared, he didn't want it. He didn't look for it.

But now he was staring it in the face.

If he lost more blood then he'd pass out. Maybe more still, and then it would be game over.

He had to find someone, he wasn't going to get to the healing pods or medical supplies in his own. His vision was already blurring, body swaying, dizziness taking over. It was so scary.

He couldn't shout. His mouth seemed to have stopped working.

His ears felt like they were full of liquid, everything he heard was muffled.

Alarms... alarms. Alarms were going off.

Another attack? Now?

Everybody else would quickly make their way to their lions and leave. His legs weren't walking as they were supposed to.

He wouldn't make it to Coran. He wouldn't make it to anybody.

Hope started to slip away, tears started to slip down his cheeks even faster as images of his family flashed across his eyes.

Family... parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, Keith...

Keith...

Keith!

Keith was standing there, at the other end of the passage to him. 

He looked worried. He heard him yell his name, before rushing towards him.

Lance managed to whisper the word 'help'... before his eyes flickered shut and his world went black.

\---

Keith darted forward, catching Lance just before he hit the ground.

There was so much blood, all over him, all over the floor behind him.

The alarms going off around him almost became silent. Lance was all that mattered.

His forearms were butchered to the extreme, large gaping gashes all up and down. The bandages returned to his mind and they made more sense now. Lance was really hurt... and he was hurting himself.

But this, this was another level.

This looked more like a suicide attempt.

That thought in itself scared him, more than before.

He had to get Lance to the healing pods. With somebody inside, they could heal deep wounds reasonably quickly.

The other Paladins would have to deal with the attack themselves.

He was about to lift Lance over his shoulder when, unluckily, Shiro cane running down the corridor.

"Keith! What are you doing! You need to get to your Lion!"

He stared at him in disbelief. Couldn't he see all the blood?

"... Lance is injured! I have to get him to a pod!"

"We need you in the fight!"

"I'm not doing anything until Lance is in a pod!"

He'd never seen this look on Shiro before. He looked angry enough to kill.

"Keith. Get to your lion. That's an order."

Keith gritted his teeth. Shiro was acting completely out of character.

"I'm not following that order. Fight them on your own."

He started carrying Lance to the healing pods, ignoring Shiro's continued orders and anger.

He didn't understand. He wasn't the person he used to be.

\---

It was a slight struggle to lift Lance into a healing pod but he managed it, breathing a sigh of relief as the glass clicked shut.

He'd be ok now. The pod would stop the bleeding and close up the wounds.

Lance was safe.

Keith looked solemnly at his troubled, yet calm expression. He did this to himself on purpose.

He couldn't explain why that hurt him so much.

He didn't realise that he cared for Lance so much.

He wished he could stay, but he had to turn away, speeding into a run and heading to his Lion.

Shiro's behaviour still troubled him. There was something wrong, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

\---

By the time Keith got out to fight, the rest of the lions were falling back, pilots exhausted and confused.

Shiro was furious that Keith had chosen Lance over fighting the fleet, but he didn't say a word.

"The particle barrier is heavily damaged. Another attack, and the castle will start taking damage."

All their spirits were crushed. The unexplained situation was baffling and upsetting.

The tension between Keith and Shiro was apparent yet also unexplained.

"... what do we do? They keep finding us. We can't run away forever."

It felt as if the end was nearing.

"Keith... why weren't you out there?" Allura asked, turning to him.

Shiro began explaining with "He decided to chose a mundane task instead of-"

"Lance was bleeding to death so I took him to a healing pod. I wouldn't call that a mundane task."

"... why was he bleeding?"

"... I think he tried to... I... I think he tried to kill himself."

Everyone was silent. Everyone looked to Shiro, not knowing why he'd care so little about something so serious.

"... I just though that the task at hand was-"

"No... Shiro... friends come first." 

People walked away and sat around, dreading the next attack, knowing that it was coming.

"Why would Lance... do that?"

"Well, nobody's shown him all that much kindness recently, have they?"

\---

"Their barrier is damaged. The signal will go through. Shall we start phase 3?"

Haggar considered, then slowly nodded.

"You have my permission."

It was hard to keep a grin off her face as the prospect of Voltron's downfall grew greater.

\---

Switches were flicked. The signal prepared.

The satellite dish was directed.

The whirring in the room grew louder, and louder, code tuning smoothly.

The workers were all silent in anticipation.

The moment that the signal was sent, was a great one for the Galra empire.

"Phase Three of Operation Kuron, commences..."


	17. Kuron

Shiro sighed. Things were going wrong. People were listening to him less and less.

He wondered what he would have to do to win back respect. He guessed that he had been acting quite... stand-offish.

Unkind, a bad friend, a bad leader, but at the times, it had seemed the right thing to do.

If only he had-

There was a click, and a strange fuzzing sensation, before Shiro's consciousness - in this body at least - ceased to exist.

\---

Pidge was the first to notice Shiro acting strangely.

He was moving more robotically, and there was a strange look in his eyes as he walked over to the control hub.

She wouldn't have sad anything about it, if he hadn't opened a panel, grabbed a punch of wires and ripped them out.

"Shiro! What the heck are you doing?!"

Lights started flickering. All the Paladins were alert now.

He reached in again, pulling out more, with his other hand smashing the controls. Inhumane strength of which none of them had seen before.

"Stop it! You're going to break the castle!"

But it was already breaking. With each clump of wires pulled out, something else went wrong.

Lights turned out, system functions went haywire, the ventilation system failed.

Allura ran forward and tried to pull him away from the vital wiring of the castle but he simply grabbed her leg and threw her three metres away.

She landed painfully, her shoulder dislocating on impact.

Hunk ran to her aid as Pidge brought out her bayard.

"Shiro, move away from the controls!"

He didn't show any signs of hearing what she said, instead ripping out another handful of wires.

Pidge didn't know what to do, she hadn't planned to actually attack him.

Keith was even more at loss, just staring, confused beyond belief. Why was he doing this? What was wrong with him?

More wires, more controls, smashed up and broken.

Coran attempted what Allura did, gabbing hold of Shiro's arm but this time being thrown into another set of controls, head making contact with the metal, and put out of action for a while.

Pidge's instincts kicked in, hitting him between the shoulder blades with her bayard, meaning to electrocute him and stun him, considering the amount of nerves concentrated around the shoulders, but he was unharmed. All she had done was gained his attention.

He grabbed her bayard, ripped it out of her hands and struck her in the chest with it, winding her and sending her flying.

With a blade, the breaking of wires was much faster, and soon enough, every function in the castle was offline, damaged, or destroyed.

The castle was little more than a wreck floating in space.

\---

Lance awoke when he hit the floor of the healing pods room, rubbing his cheek painfully.

How... strange.

He could have sworn that he was stumbling down the castle's halls just now...

He looked down, and the wounds on his arms were little more than scabs, closed up and no longer bleeding.

Somebody had taken him to a healing pod.

Keith, had taken him to a healing pod.

But, why did he fall out? 

And, noticing that the room was almost pitch black, he wondered about that too.

What was happening?

He got to his feet, throat tightening as he realised the air was thin.

There was something deeply wrong.

He crept out of the room, following his nose to the bridge, where he hoped the others were, so they could explain what madness was going on.

\---

Once all the wires and controls were beyond repair, Shiro turned on the rest of the group, eyes first setting sight on Keith, who was quite plainly terrified.

He turned his bayard into a sword, trying to prepare himself to attack him... to defend himself...

But he couldn't.

No way could he ever hurt Shiro, even though he was doing this.

He froze up in fear, watching Shiro come closer and closer, fast, Pidge's bayard ready to swing, bracing himself for the impact, and being knocked to the ground.

His head rang like a bell, a throbbing pain appearing in his left temple, but he still couldn't move.

His vision was watery. Was he crying?

"GET AWAY FROM KEITH!" Hunk yelled, aiming his heavy gun at the black paladin's head, biting his lip.

Shiro stood up, turning to his new obstacle, swapping which hand held the bayard so that he could activate his prosthetic, hand glowing purple.

"I... I don't want to have to do this!"

He started advancing, sending Hunk's heartbeat skyrocketing.

He fired, his target rolling easily out of the way, dodging this way and that.

Pidge had managed to get back up, and as he got closer to Hunk, she lunged for her bayard, getting a hold of it but letting go as Shiro swung his bionic arm at her.

She lunged again but didn't manage the first achievement.

Hunk's weapon lost effectiveness as Shiro came into close range, so he simply swung the weapon at him, but achieved as much as Pidge did.

He shoved his hand into Hunk's side, rewarded with a scream of pain and another defeated foe.

Keith stared at the scene. He needed to help... but, he couldn't. Shiro was his brother. Shiro was his only family, he couldn't hurt him.

Even if he hurt and killed everyone else.

\---

As Lance got closer to the bridge, he heard yelling and crashing.

He sped up, peering into the room, shocked to see half the inhabitants on the floor and the other half fighting.

Shiro had Pidge's bayard in one hand and the other hand activated. Pidge was dodging attacks, tiring quickly, and Coran sneaked up behind with a metal pipe.

What was happening? Why was Shiro attacking people? Why were people attacking Shiro?

What was this?

Shiro caught her with a wide arc of the bayard, smashing it into her head and watching her crumple.

All the Paladins had their helmets on, Coran had his portable breathing mask that he always carried with him.

The air was getting thinner. Each breath got harder to take. It was scary. 

He didn't have a mask. His old paladin armour had been put somewhere but he didn't know where.

Shiro had noticed Coran sneaking up on him and he took him down easily. 

Lance had to do something. Shiro was walking towards Keith, looking ready to kill.

He was going to kill.

He had to stop him.

Heart racing, lungs screaming, he sneaked out from his hiding spot, keeping his footfalls silent. He picked up the pipe that Coran was using, and tiptoed over to Shiro, sneaking up behind him.

Keith was staring, petrified, and his eyes widened as he noticed Lance.

Lance pressed a finger to his lips, holding the pipe as you would a baseball bat.

He aimed, took a second to think it through, before bringing it down as hard as he could on the former leader's head.

It seemed to phase him slightly, dropping Pidge's bayard and swaying to the side. Lance quickly picked it up and slid it in Pidge's general direction.

"Keith we need to work together! C'mon!"

He shook his head.

"... I-I can't... I..." he looked at Lance, ashamed, "... I'm sorry..."

Shiro was getting back up, glaring at Lance with utmost fury.

"... Shiro... please... calm down..."

He didn't recognise words. He seemed to only have the single intent of murder.

His hand glowed brighter, threatening Lance with its purple light.

It would cut the pipe right in half. His weapon was now useless.

His adrenaline was failing as his lungs were starved, and his body has still lost a lot of blood.

Considering the situation and the possible outcomes, he took a couple of steps backwards, and ran.

He heard the footsteps behind him and his fear jumped right up.

He didn't know what he was doing. This wouldn't get him anywhere.

He was just tiring himself out. Shiro would catch up eventually, and he'd be cut down.

He had to think of what to do. Why was Shiro acting like this? It was completely unlike him, and he wasn't even acting like a human anymore.

As he was sneaking up behind him, he couldn't remember seeing him breathe.

Everybody else was out of action. He was the only one.

Looking behind him, Shiro was as close as ever, and he felt his legs burning.

He couldn't work out what was happening. He couldn't understand why Shiro was doing this.

He didn't know what to do.

He was going to die today.


	18. The End

Keith crawled over to Allura, who was clutching her shoulder in agony, shaking and crying but trying to stay strong.

"Allura... what's wrong?"

"I-I think it's d-dislocated... I can't move it."

Keith took a breath, swallowing nervously.

"I know how to relocate it, we learnt in the garrison..."

She turned her arm towards him, shaking harder.

"This will hurt... I'm sorry..."

He placed one hand on Allura's elbow, another on the shoulder, and pushed upwards, popping the joint back into place and enduring the shriek of pain that resonated from the Princess.

"Shit... I'm sorry... can you move it?"

She sucked her teeth, jerkily moving the arm. Jerky and painful, but at least it moved.

She got to her feet, looking sadly at the smashed control panel.

"We need to get the castle back online."

"How are you gonna fix it? It's... smashed. Broken. I don't know how... we can do anything."

"Well, the Alteans aren't stupid, you know. There's a second control panel located deeper in the castle. It doesn't have access to creating wormholes or activating the particle barrier, but it will do."

"Will we be able to fix this one?"

"... perhaps, in a while."

She rushed over to Coran and checked his injuries.

"Keith, can you check Hunk and Pidge? They're injured too."

Keith did as asked and went to Hunk's side, taking in the damage and asking if he was ok.

"No, no Keith I'm not ok because Shiro impaired me with his hand and I am hurt! Deeply hurt!"

"Listen, the wound is cauterised, his weapon does that."

"L-Like a lightsaber or something?"

"... sure. Like a lightsaber. You're not going to lose any blood. Also, thanks for taking his attention off me."

Hunk managed a smile.

"Anytime, buddy. Just... go help Lance, would you?"

"I'm going to. But, I have to check on Pidge-"

"I'll do that. Just... go help him."

"Ok, got it."

Keith met Allura at the door and followed her. She seemed to know where she was going.

"When we get there, we need to override the main system. It's destroyed, but, this secondary one still thinks it's in control. There are a number of security measures to make sure that nobody else can sneak onto the castle and control it at this location."

Keith was already getting out of breath. He didn't know how she managed to keep talking while running.

Perhaps it was because she was Altean. They were decently stronger than Humans. Maybe that was why she had recovered from the dislocation so quickly.

Suddenly, Allura screeched to a halt and Keith almost ran into her.

"... the air locks are open." She said.

She was right. The room in front of them was an air lock, and looking through the small window, it was wide open.

"... how come the doors are closed?"

"The door system is one of the only systems that aren't linked to the mains."

"... what are the other ones?"

"Oxygen Dispersion and Artificial Gravity."

They stared into the airless room.

"We have our helmets. We can propel ourselves over there with our jet packs."

"Let's get going."

They opened the door, air flying out of the corridor behind them before it closed again, leaving them in peace to float over to the next door.

It was reasonably harder, to get through it, as when it opened, they were fighting the flow of the air, but they managed it.

"So... smooth sailing from here?"

"Hopefully."

\---

Shiro was gaining on him. He wouldn't be able to keep running for very long, especially in the oxygen deprived atmosphere.

He had to do something, but the moment that he stopped running, he'd be stabbed by Shiro's weaponised hand.

He made a turn, hoping to gain a bit more distance between them but if anything, the distance shortened, and Shiro was showing no signs of slowing down.

Hope was fading.

\---

"The secondary control panel is just in here."

They entered a reasonably dusty room, containing a much smaller control panel and lots of switches on the walls.

"... so... what do we need to do?"

"We need to flick the correct combination of switches, enter the password and prove that we are loyal Alteans." She turned to him, "so, you might need to pretend to not exist."

"... can you do it on your own? We need to do it quickly... Lance needs help... who knows how he's doing."

Keith stood back as Allura worked on unlocking it, surprised and impressed as she completed the first requirement in around two minutes.

The second was simple, as she was the princess, and finally, pressed her hand to a pad and it scanned her, recignising her as Princess Allura, and giving her full access to the properties of the control panel, the secondary system taking control of the castle.

\---

Lance felt his heart stop as he saw himself running towards a door.

There was no other way. It was a single hallway.

The time in which it would take to stop and press the button for it to open, Shiro would catch up and cut him down.

But... what choice did he have. 

He forced his legs to sprint this final stretch, hand outstretched, really to press the button but, there was a sharp, blinding pain in his upper left arm, and he crumpled to his knees, right next to the door.

It felt like his arm was on fire, burning constantly, but his tongue was silenced by shock and fear, as he turned around and stared up at his assailant.

... this was the end.

He closed his eyes and waited for the final blow. He just hoped that the others would find a way to stop him.

But then... a thought entered his head. 

This room, just behind the door, was an airlock.

And because all the systems were offline, the airlocks were wide open.

He shot his hand up and pressed down the button to open, clinging onto the doorway to make sure that he didn't go flying out into space.

Shiro though, was caught off guard, and did go flying through.

Lance's already deprived lungs suffered greatly, as the rushing air took away his breath.

His fingers started slipping, and he started panicking as he flew away from the door and frantically reached out for something to grab, anything...

He could have cried from relief when he smashed into a luckily placed pillar, managing to wrap his arms around it and cling on.

Looking backwards, he saw that Shiro had been able to secure a grasp on the small ledge on the floor - which would usually be linked with the first airlock door - with his bionic arm.

He was running out of breath. He couldn't cling on forever, and he was starting to see black dots in his vision.

Now... this was the end.

He was going to lose consciousness and let go... drifting off into space... dying...

But at least he got the danger away from his friends. Shiro wouldn't be able to crawl back to safety due to the air pressure.

He closed his eyes, trying to think of something nice, before it was all over.

\---

"Teludav back online, lights back online, Keith, pull that lever!"

He pulled it.

"That's the air locks. They'll close now."

Her face became troubled.

"... the Oxygen systems aren't... they aren't working properly. I think they're physically damaged. We'll need to fix them manually."

"What's the quickest way there?"

"Back the way we came. Through the airlock room and a few corridors left."

"Then let's get going."

\---

Lance's eyes widened as the airlock doors began to close.

Shiro noticed too, and seemed to try his hardest to escape from his compromising position, to no avail.

His arm was utterly crushed by the airlock door as it reached its closed position, and as the air pressure went back to normal, Lance slid down to the floor, landing painfully.

Shiro was stuck in the space between the first airlock door and the second. People were safe. His friends were safe... but he wasn't.

The air was still too devoid of oxygen. 

Today had really been a rollercoaster. He had thought he would die so many times... but it was now that his time was up.

Was it a good life? Yeah...

It was a good life.

Though... he would have liked to see Keith again...


	19. Breathe

Keith entered the airlock first, and was speechless for a second, when he saw Lance, collapsed against a pillar, gasping for air.

"... Lance!"

He rushed to his side, eyes flickering down to his left arm where there was a burn straight through the cloth of his t-shirt, hand shaped and cauterised.

"... where's Shiro?"

Lance weakly pointed at the airlock.

Keith was scared for a second, thinking that he had been thrown out into space, but he saw metal fingertips protruding out of the bottom of the door, and a body collapsed just behind the glass.

Lance started gasping harder, clutching at his throat.

Keith turned to Allura, terrified.

"Get to the Oxygen systems, fix them! Please! He can't breathe!"

Allura nodded, rushing across the room and out the opposite door.

Keith turned back to Lance, who was piercing into him with his dark blue eyes.

"... Lance... please... hang on..."

His eyes flickered closed, and Keith's fear of losing those he cared for flared up again.

"Lance! Lance c'mon!"

He watched as Lance's chest sink as he let out his last breath, and felt the rising panic as it didn't rise up again.

"No... no not now... please... Lance..."

Not now. This always happened. He always lost the people he cared about. And he had only just realised with Lance.

Why had it taken so long? Why did he have to have made the realisation when he was dying in his arms.

Oh god. He was really crying now. Tears streaming, chest convulsing.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down but managing to do the opposite.

"Lance no... please... I can't deal with this again..."

He stroked his cheek, willing for Allura to fix the oxygen, so that he didn't have to... go through this.

But Lance still wasn't breathing. It was so unfair... he was here... able to breath, forced to watch... a loved one die.

... he could breath...

He could breath!

He could breath because of his helmet... but... if he gave his helmet to Lance...

He ripped it off, sliding it over Lance's head and sealing it at his neck, willing him to breath, crying harder from relief when he coughed and spluttered and breathed.

Thank god...

He now understood why Lance had lost consciousness. He needed what felt like hundred of breaths to equal what a healthy one would contain.

He started feeling dizzy and his thoughts were hazy. 

Lance's eyes flickered open, and his mouth curled into a sweet smile.

"... we really need to stop bonding like this..." he whispered.

Keith couldn't help but smile at him. He was obviously quite disorientated and not quite with it, the oxygen deprivation must have messed up his thought pattern.

Lance closed his eyes again, relaxed and happy, while Keith felt his own systems failing. His lungs screamed for air that he couldn't give them. His eyesight began fading, but he didn't fight it...

Because he was happy. Lance was safe.

That was all he wanted.

His eyes looked back at Lance's face one last time, before they closed and his consciousness failed.

He fell forward, coming to rest on top of Lance, who had sunk back into a regenerative sleep.

They lay there, together, one living, one dying.

Both oblivious... both in love.


	20. Resolution

Keith jerked awake, staring around the healing pod he was in, looking around for Lance and finding him standing right in front of him, seemingly glad to see him awake.

Lance pressed a button and Keith fell out into his arms, quickly jumping out of them, considering, and then jumping back in.

Neither of them said anything. Neither of them needed to.

\---

"Hey! Keith! Nice to see you awake!" Coran laughed happily as Keith and Lance entered the bridge.

People were whirring around happily, the control panel all fixed up.

"Pidge fixed it really quickly. She just tied some things together and beat the controls back into shape." Hunk said as he walked past, wound on his side all healed up.

People seemed happy, but Keith had a question that might disrupt the atmosphere.

"So... what happened with Shiro?"

The casual chatter died down, and a more solemn atmosphere arose.

"... well... oh dear... come with me." Allura sighed, in her usual princess getup.

Most of the team decided to tag along, so there was a colourful chain of people following the princess.

They entered a room, Shiro's body lying on a table with his shattered prosthetic all taken apart.

"... there was a set of code running through a receiver in this arm, it took control of his body and put him into a sort of robot-like state. The only things he would do were destroying the castle and killing it's inhabitants."

"... is he ok?"

Lance pressed a supportive hand onto Keith's shoulder, which was not a good sign.

"... he's dead... Keith... the moment that the code started running, it took control of his brain and... destroyed what was there before. I'm sorry..."

Keith stared at the body, too shocked to react.

"... dead?"

He looked at the ground and clenched his fist, looking very much as if he was resisting tears.

"Now Allura that's just a dick move isn't it?" Hunk spoke up.

"What do you mean?"

"You left out the detail."

"... oh."

Allura cleared her throat and continued.

"Well, one of the Blade of Marmora went undercover on the Galra's command ship, and heard about this project called Operation Kuron."

"Which means clone." Added Pidge.

"We think that this was a clone of Shiro. A gimmick. That would have explained all his... un-Shiro-ish behaviour." Coran butted in.

"S-So he might be a-alive?"

"Yeah."

Lance steered Keith away from the dead Shiro clone and somewhere with less people. It was to make him less upset and make it easier to calm down, but Pidge and Hunk immediately started theorising about what they were possibly doing out there. Hunk stuck with kissing but Pidge was adamant that they were hardcore snogging.

Everyone could see how much closer Keith and Lance had miraculously got. It was quite... cute.

Cute was the right word in this situation.

\---

"... well, now we have a... paladin problem."

"... ohhhhhh... yes... we do."

The black paladin was now non existent. And, they really needed a black paladin.

"... Keith? Would you lead Voltron again?" Allura asked.

He shrugged.

"Sure."

She turned back to Lance.

"... do you think... you could try with Red again?"

"... hopefully he'll start listening to me."

They all headed towards the lions, Lance's arm still draped over Keith's shoulder.

\---

Keith climbed into the black lion first, trying very hard, to connect back with Black, but there wasn't even a spark of recognition. It was like black was ignoring him.

After a couple of minutes, Keith exited the lion, shaking his head.

"Nothing."

Allura sighed.

"I guess you'll have to stay with Red..."

Keith nodded, walking sheepishly back to Lance.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

"So, we need to find a black paladin."

"What about Coran?" Pidge joked.

Allura rolled her eyes.

"We need Coran to pilot the castle."

Keith had a quick idea, looking to Lance.

"Why don't you try?"

"Huh?"

"Go on. Try to connect with Black."

Lance looked to Allura for permission, and she just gestured to the lion.

He took a deep breath and walked in the way Keith came out. 

Settling down in the seat, he reached forward and grabbed the controls. He closed his eyes and breathed.

'I don't know why you didn't connect with Keith... but... I'm here... I'm not the best choice... but I'll try my hardest...'

There was silence. He leaned back and sighed.

When the lights all turned on, he didn't even realise. He was so convinced that it wouldn't happen, but... then... he realised... that the lion had reacted to him.

It thought... that he was... worthy... to be the leader of Voltron...

... wow.

This was... awesome!

He practically ran out of the lion, whooping, exited beyond belief.

"I... I'm the Black Paladin! I am! Oh my god!"

He started giggling uncontrollably, ecstatic.

He wasn't... he wasn't a seventh wheel. He wasn't a sixth wheel, fifth wheel, fourth, third... not even second.

He felt equal to his friends again. He felt... amazing!

He was the black paladin!

The black paladin!

Keith smiled at his goofy ecstasy. He really was falling in love... wasn't he.

\---

Lance found Keith sitting on the floor next to one of the large windows of the castle, staring out into space.

He sat next to him, already knowing what he was thinking.

"We'll find Shiro. I promise."

"... really?"

"Yeah."

There was a short period of silence.

"... I'll make sure of it, because I lead Voltron now!"

Keith sighed, amused, hesitating before letting his head rest on Lance's shoulder.

He was making a lot of moves that he had never dared to do before, and every time Lance just accepted it and didn't question it, his heart fluttered faster.

"... why'd you give up your helmet for me?" Lance asked.

Keith but his lip, going red.

"Because... I didn't want to see you die."

It was Keith's turn to ask a question.

He reached out and brushed Lance's forearm. The wounds were completely healed, but the Healing pods didn't fade scars.

"... why did you do this?"

He felt Lance tense up.

"... I... I heard you and Shiro arguing about me... I was going to say that the Galra might've been tracking us through Shiro's arm... but I... I heard that and just..."

"... I found you in the hallway... you were bleeding so badly... did you... did you want to-"

"No... I didn't mean for it to go that far."

"... don't do it again."

"I won't."

Keith bit his lip. Could he really say it? How would Lance react? What if he...

Oh... fuck it.

"... I care about you too much."

Lance drew away from him, and he at first though that he'd made a mistake saying that, but Lance was smiling sheepishly, blushing like an idiot.

"... really?"

"Yeah..."

Keith considered taking another chance, but, he relaxed and decided against it. This was enough for now. He was happy.

They were both happy.

Staring out at the cast abyss of space, wondering how hilariously furious Haggar was. Wondering if Shiro was really out there, wondering how long this quiet happiness would last.

But they were happy, and that was all that mattered.

And as they looked out at the shining stars, they felt as if there was nothing they couldn't do.

The end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this fic in December 2017, a few months before the release of season 5, so it was during the golden age of Klance, where we all had high hopes. Oh how times changed... :(
> 
> At any rate, I hope my writing hasn't aged too badly over time, and I hope that you enjoyed this reasonably short story!


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